They ended things.
So if you've read my old posts (or my post on the main page), you'll be familiar with this story.
So here's the update: they broke up. Turns out he was really upset about it, and it turned out that she really just wasn't ready. Well, she gave him the ring back and he broke up with her. It wasn't pretty, but I think he did the right thing (for lots of reasons I won't get into here, they weren't right for each other).
Several people commented on the purpose of a promise ring. I personally am not a big fan of them--I think they're unnecessary. I know multiple couples that got them while they were still in school (or at least one of them was) because they didn't want to get engaged until they had both graduated. Once you are both grown and graduated, I really don't see any purpose to them at all. However, if I had a boyfriend right now and he bought me one, I would wear it til my finger turned green (can black people's fingers do that?).
Comments (13)
That is sad to hear but at least he realized this now. Best of luck to both your friends.
@justsoul - Thanks for the comment! I was sad about it too; he was really down. But it was for the best.
Aw, thats a shame. And on the whole "finger turning green" thing. I would hope that the ring would be real so that wouldn't happen haha. But Im not allergic to fake jewelry so I would wear it as well. If I felt like I wasn't ready for that step then I wouldn't accept the ring in the first place.
i would think that if a person was given a promise ring, it would just show how serious one person is and the other. it's more like a test of love/faith. A closer step to an engagement, but still too young. :O
i really want one. lol.
@theresastacey@xanga - I would hope so too! I'd be kinda mad if my man got me ring that cheap, lol. I agree--I wouldn't accept the ring if I weren't ready, but at the same time, I understand why someone would...kinda gives your relationship a death sentence, you know? My friend essentially told me that since she didn't want to marry him, the relationship was essentially in perpetual limbo and going nowhere. And he wasn't interested in a nowhere relationship--it either has a direction or it doesn't. Thanks for the comment!
@reminisce - Thanks for the comment! I hope you get one.
Oh... ouch. So the whole thing really was a red flag?
I'd come up with a few possibilities but looks like those are out now....
In the future a few things to look at before you get nervous are:
One possibility is maybe if it doesnt fit and she's too embarrassed to say anything.
Depends on how active she is too. Maybe she's scared of damaging/losing it?
That would be my case. See, if I was a relaxed, not-on-the-go girl, I'd wear it until my finger fell off, as you said... But I do WAAAY too many activities that could damage it:
Wing Chun: I'd hate to punch someone in the face one too many times and break the ring
Horseback riding: It would get it dirty and I wouldnt wanna chance losing it....
Anyway, you get the point. But that is THE ONLY reason I wouldnt wear it.
Oh yeah, and dog training isnt too good for rings... especially if one starts chewing on it/tries to eat it. This happened with another ring I had: I wasn't paying attention to the fact that my dog was chewing on my ring cuz I didnt think she could do that much damage: WRONG. I looked back and the stone was gone :(
@Mystical_Jaguar@xanga - Oh no! Did you get a new stone to replace it? That's horrible...thanks for the comment! Yes, it turned out to be a red flag after all. And it really wasn't the only one, I think it was just the most obvious one. I don't think she would have been too embarrassed to tell him if it didn't fit. As for the damaging/losing it thing, I'd assume she'd remove it for that activity and then put it back on later (or just wear it anyway and break it, like I did with mine...). But the excuses you gave are both valid excuses, and if she had given them that would have been a little less lame than "I don't like jewelry", you know? It's one thing to wear it because it might break, and another thinkg to wear it because you don't want to...
True. It is kinda lame to lie about it with an even more lame lie like THAT one...
I had no idea that fingers could turn green... (yikes?)
@PurdeeGem@xanga - I don't think it happens often. I was exaggerating a little to make a point, but costume jewelry, if it's really cheap and your skin is sensitive, can do some pretty ugly stuff to your skin. Thanks for the comment!
ouch! That's sad!
wow