What the heck does "independent" mean, anyway?
I was just reading this post on the main page about the girl who hates chivalry. I think that's a bunch of bunk. Why on earth would you get mad at someone for being nice to you? Come on, now.
Some of the commenters who concurred with her opinion claimed to be "independent" women who shared her sentiments. So here's my question: What does it mean to be "independent"? Everyone seems to have their own definition, and each individual definition implies a different treatment of/attitude toward guys.
Girls who agree with this statement appear to define independent as an "I can do it MYSELF!" attitude, refusing to let guys pay for them, open doors for them, or behave in a chivalrous manner toward them, claiming that it's insulting for someone to do something for them that they could clearly do for themselves.
Personally, I think that that attitude is what's insulting. Being independent shouldn't mean taking offense to other people's kindness. Since when is that cool?
Metaphorically, I'd define it this way: I carry my own purse, but I don't mind not carrying my fridge.
I personally consider an independent woman one who takes care of herself. She has her own job, her own transportation, and her own place. She pays her own bills. Basically, an independent woman handles her business. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I do so in all areas related specifically to my own life. However, when it comes to my relationship with a guy, I have no problem with chivalry. Could I carry the new minifridge I just bought out to my car on my own? Yeah. But if a guy in the store sees me lugging the thing and wants to help, why the heck wouldn't I let him? Do I have enough money to buy my own dinner? Yes. But if he wants to pay, why wouldn't I let him? I owe him nothing but a gracious thank you (and if he thinks otherwise, he's a jerk anyhow). If it's cold outside and I'm shivering, why on earth would I turn down an offer of a jacket? Unless the guy is legally blind, he can clearly see that I have two perfectly functional arms. Therefore, he's not opening my door because he thinks I'm an invalid; he's opening my door out of sheer niceness.
When did "independent" and "woman" become synonymous with "stomps out other people's attempts at kindness"?
Comments (3)
I definitely like this. If I could give you more than 2 eProps, I would haha
Here is my comment:
"As an independent woman, I can definitely see this from your POV. I'm the
same way. I don't dislike chivalry; in fact, it's quite nice when I'm
carrying something more than half my size at work and someone (a guy)
offers to take it for me. I don't like for other guys to pay for things
for me either. In fact, last Friday night, I went out to dinner after
work with the guy I really like. It wasn't a date; it was just one of
those 'hey, we're hungry, let's eat' kind of deals. He paid and told me
to leave a tip. In all honesty, I didn't argue because I didn't have
the energy. This same guy is the guy who walks me (or any other female)
to my car late at night after work because he doesn't walking through
the dark parking lot alone. And he always tries to open the door to my
car for me. That's when I lock it or open it myself. lol
A lot of men aren't chivalrous to be cute or charming; it generally has a lot
to do with their upbringing. At least, here in the South it does."
I'm not against chivalry in the least. Sometimes I wonder if the saying "Chivalry is dead" is really true or not. I actually did accept a jacket from a guy a couple of weeks ago. I was very glad I did; it was warm! haha
I like your definition of an independent woman. I don't think it's right to call me a completely independent woman because I am still living with my parents and depending on them for things but I am hoping to move out at the end of the summer, so it's safer to say I have an independent spirit. But I'm also very stubborn. I think that is more so the reason why I don't like for other people (male or female) to pay for my meal, help me out, etc. I was raised really closely with my dad's family and his parents. His parents both dropped out of school to help out on the farm. They were raised very stubborn but very kind and giving people. I have acquired many of those traits. While I am one of those people who will give you the shirt off my back, I never ask for anything in return and I never ask for help for myself.
I think often times people confuse "independent" with "stubborn."
Someone who is mentally strong and doesn't let anything get in her way of what she wants to achieve
I'm not sure when this happened. I don't dislike chivalry, I quite enjoy it. It lets me know that for a moment, someone is thinking of me.