How do you get so attached so fast?
So me personally, I'm relatively idealistic, but not when it comes to relationships. I don't believe in love at first sight, and I don't honestly think that you can truly love someone if you haven't been together very long. I don't think you can really rush your feelings. You might experience that surface-level infatuation, you might think they're really attractive and give in to your hormones, but that really doesn't make you like them more. The rate my feelings move at is the rate at which they move, and nothing can really change that. And I guess I'm just slower than some.
Here's a situation I really don't understand.
He called me constantly for several months. We met like 7 or so months ago. He had a girlfriend at the time (which he did not tell me about! Lame!), but was interested in me anyway and kept asking me out. I kept saying no because I didn't like him and based on what he wants in life, I knew that we wouldn't work out anyway. He is apparently an incredibly persistent person and refused to take no for an answer. A couple of months later, he asked me out again. This time, he had broken up with his gf (and finally told me about her). I said no, for the same reasons I'd given him before. I also told him directly that I really didn't have feelings for him, and I reminded him that it wouldn't work out.
He stopped calling for a while.
I started to like him more, now that he wasn't obsessing over me.
And then we started hanging out again, and I realized how attractive he was. And then we started hanging out more. And I realized that even though I was more attracted to him than I was before, my original feelings about the whole situation were unchanged. And nothing we said or did could change them.
And so we stopped dating.
Here's what gets me. Though we dated for less than a month and I had rejected him repeatedly for several months before that, he claimed he was "falling in love with me", that I'd gotten to his heart. He even asked me to marry him. (Not an official proposal, but he mentioned wanting to marry me several times and asked "if I asked you to marry me right now, what would you say?" type questions a lot.)
What the heck?!
I think it would take me about two years of *being his girlfriend* before I felt ready to marry him. He decided he was ready to marry me after 7 months of being just friends.
How could you get so attached to someone you're not dating? Especially if that person has told you they don't share your feelings? I just don't get it.
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