LaBellaMorena's Datingish

Typical?

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 13:43:37 GMT

So yesterday me and the bf kinda got into it. We weren't fighting per se, we were just disagreeing and expressing frustration (that last part was mostly me). So he totally doesn't get it sometimes, which is pretty frustrating for me. So I tell him. At least it's good emotional exercise.

Basically, it was the same old "you never spend time with me!" "that's because I'm busy" conversation that like every couple has. I sad earlier that I wanted to have a "normal" relationship. I want to actually date my boyfriend, especially since we haven't been together that long. You're not supposed to slip into convenience mode within the first few months, right? That's for later. So right now, I want to go on actual dates. I want to get excited and get dressed up and go out. i want the time we spend together to feel special, not rushed and haphazard. But he, except when it comes to work, lives his life haphazardly. I told him he never plans anything, and other people plan stuff. He was all mad that I didn't keep my schedule open to spend time with him this weekend, but I said we didn't have plans, so what would be the point of that? Unless he says "i want to hang out on this day at this time", I don't have any reason to think we're doing something then. So if someone else invites me somewhere, i'm going to go. And that is that. All of the things on the agenda this weekend that don't involve him were planned at least 5-6 days in advance, except one. Most of them were planned at least a month ahead of time. He asked me friday was I as doing Friday night, and then decided we "probably wouldn't see each other" because he had "plans". That's lame. First of all, if he had plans, why bother asking? Second, why is he so addicted to "probably" and "maybe"? Give a definite answer, please. Commit to something. Don't keep me in suspense, hanging on to the possibility that I "might" see you when you KNOW you are too busy to hang out.

So I told him i'm tired of this and if he wants to spend time with me he's going to have to start making plans with me. I feel really unimportant when he says "maybe" we'll hang out, if he gets around to it, after he's done with his errands and everything else he wants or needs to do that day. I'm the last thing on his list, the thing he may or may not get to. It upsets me that he feels he can just reschedule me if he doesn't get around to me. I feel like my time is disrespected when he says we "might" hang out tomorrow but refuses to tell me when, but expects me to be free *if* he decides he wants to. I feel disrespected when he says I should lie to other people about my availability or turn down invitations to hang out, just to keep myself available for the *possibility* of *maybe* spending time with him. That's stupid. I told him if we don't have plans, I'm making plans with someone else. So if he wants to see me, he's going to have to do it the normal way. Ask me out, tell me when and where, and then show up. How has he managed to live outside the natural order of things for so long? This baffles me.

Dude...Boundaries...what a great book.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:22:25 GMT

Okay so I talked to Will today. He called a few days ago just to say hi, which was sweet cuz he hates calling but I told him I was out of text messages. He said "I haven't heard from you in -- get this -- a few days." I was like omg...you care that it's been a few days since we've talked! How cute! He said to call him sometime soon, so I did. I told him that I would. And I called him a little bit ago just to say hi, ya know? He made a joke about me "cheating" on him when I go to Miami. I told him he should come with me, just jokin. He said no cuz I'm going down there with my boyfriend or something. I told him no, I'm going to visit my niece. He oh, whatever or something like that. Here's the thing, though: he kept making jokes about me being a pimp or having all these guys on me or whatever. And people only joke repeatedly about stuff when they kind of believe it. So I'm wondering...why does he think I'm like that? Did I say or do something to give him the impression that I'm a player type or I have some type of entourage or a lot of guys are into me? I can't think of anything I've said or done that would make him think that, in the short time that I've known him. Hm...weird...

In other news, I spent my Friday night with D. And you know what? It was kind of fun. I stayed late at work and then he came back to see me and we went to do some errands, and then I was hungry so we went to Popeye's on Lake Street for dinner, and then he wanted to see a comedy show and I didn't so we drove back to his car, but then instead of him leaving to go to the show he stayed and sat with me and we talked for a while, and then we got in his car instead because I watned to charge my phone and the power source thingy in my car doesn't work. I'll be glad to have my Camry back. And intact! Yay!

D and I spend way too much time talking abour relationshps. I think that's ind of lame and it measn that we aren't really getting to know each other the way friends do. and that's lame too. Id on't know when I'm going ot tell him that I'm not really that into hi but I think that it should be son. I'm just never sure how to do this...I dig these holes for myself and then spend the rest of my time trying to climb out of them. I don like spending time with him. I enjoyed sitting in the car and talking to him. And it sounds like he has an interesting story, and I like to hear people's life$ stories. But I look at him, and there is nothing in me that feels anything romantic toward him. He mentioned massaging his sore arm and kissing him on the cheek and I was literally...disgusted isn't the word, but slightly taken aback might be. He is someone I avoid touching and actually, I was kind of mad at myself when we broke the touch barrier. And then I broke it myself last night. Ugh...what am I going to do? I guess at some point I'll just...I have no idea. I just have no idea.

You know what sucks, though? My non-discreteness. I'm pretty sure half the school has seen us together, my team included.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:22:28 GMT

I officially went out on a non-date yesterday with the guy from work who's been into me, who I found out is nearly twice my age. And here's the weirdest part: he was totally aware that there was at least a decade between us, and he was okay with that. What is with all these crazy men that like to date younger women?

Anyway, that's over. However, I talked to this new guy and it turns out that the chance of him moving up here is very good, I just don't know how soon. And so now I'm wondering...what next?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 01:51:35 GMT

Okay so I think I mentioned the friend vibe I got on Tuesday, but it wasn't the kind of friend vibe that means he's friend-boxed, just the kind that means we're going to have to take it slow because I have no desire to jump him or anything. But tonight he asked me about the whole drinking thing and I said no I don't ever, and he was like "seriously? never? ever?" and I said no, never, and he joked that now I'll have to be perfect in every other way. And the thing is, I think that he meant that...this might actually become a problem for us. I am not getting my hopes up.

In other news, I canceled on D tonight cuz I thought he was bringing his kid with him. But truthfully, he's so old...would it look weird for us to be out together? I don't know. And honestly, I really am not interested in being more than friends with him, and I need to let him know that instead of stringing him along. I am a lame for that. Oh well. He's mad at me now and not talking to me, wouldn't answer his phone and didn't text back and it's not likely that he's asleep at this hour so I'm thinking he's not answering on purpose. Oh, well. Like I said, I gotta be honest with him about the whole thing. I just wish being honest didn't mean likely ending our friendship too. Oh well...we're aren't really friends anyway.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:30:46 GMT

So I was totally thinking about the whole possible boy situation thing that will probably be decided by next week sometime. We've talked almost every day since last Friday, when he told me. I'm trying not to get too excited, and he said the same because last time he interviewed for a job in Florida it went well but he didn't get it. And I want to be excited about it but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. I'm excited for him, for Tuesday, but I can't wait for Friday...or whenever they make the final decision. Suspense...ugh...

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 11:54:35 GMT

Funny how they say that opposites attract, and you meet in the randomest places, and you always end up with what you said you didn't want, etc, etc...

I said I don't do blind dates. I said I hate being set up. I said not to expect anything because I wasn't planning on being impressed by this guy. But I went, because I love their family and it was super sweet of them to invite me in the first place.

And of course, true to movie script style life experiences, I ended up liking him. A lot. Like...if he lived up here, we would TOTALLY be friends.

Okay let's be real...when I say we would be friends, what I mean is, if he asked me out, I would say yes without a moment's hesitation. What? Right now? YES! Let me grab my shoes!

I told myself too bad, too bad, he doesn't live in my state. In fact he lives across the country. And I let it go. And now, as of last night's text convo, he may be MOVING HERE. WTH?!?! Um, life...what are you doing?

Seriously, he pretty much fits 3/4 of the bill, and I only talked to him for like an hour...this could get interesting.

20 Things to Do Before You're Married

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:59:38 GMT

Just got done reading this page, a list of 20 things every woman should do before she gets married. Come to think of it, this list could apply to men, too.

I totally agree with most of them, although I strongly disagree with #9. Meaningless sex FTL. I'm not a drinker, so not a big fan of #17 either. My favorites are 13, 14, and 15.

Looking down the list, I've already done 9 of them (2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 12, 14, 18, and 19), nixed two of them (9 and 17--which cuts my list down to 18) and am on my way to accomplishing more (1, 5, 11, 12 (again lol), 13 (that's a tough one!), 15, and 16). A commenter below added "learn to cook", which I totally agree with--I have to admit, I know my way around a kitchen fairly well.

What do you think of this list? What would you add/delete? Do you have a list of things to do before you get married/before you reach a certain age?

The Tell-All Convo

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:14:34 GMT

Saw the ex the other day. Pretty sure he's on the top 5 list of hottest guys I've ever dated. Ever. Wow.

Anyway, I was just reading this post on the main page about a guy who was a total lame about it when his gf started crying about him being too busy for her. Honestly, a guy who doesn't care that you're crying is either mad at you (characteristic of my ex) or doesn't give a crap about you (characteristic of a jerk). Seriously though, if you have an issue like that, talk about your feelings (I usually try to be matter-of-fact about it, without the tears--if I can). Honesty goes a VERY long way. My ex once made me REALLY mad one day (the circumstances are irrelevant, but suffice it to say we had a date and I nearly skipped it and went home). Naturally, in the manner of most women, I acted moody and mad, because that's how I was feeling, and he knew it. Naturally, in the manner of most men, he didn't really understand what was going on in my head.

So I told him. I told him everything I was thinking and feeling and all the reasons for my confusing, pissed off behavior. And it made everything better. Now, I'm not suggesting that you constantly tell your SO every single moment-by-moment detail of what is going on in your head, but just being really honest with them is really the best thing.

The "status" talk

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:52:33 GMT

No, this is not a "define the relationship" conversation. It's a "define the relationship on facebook" conversation.

Are we in a relationship? For all practical purposes, I would say that we are. However, due to our circumstances, we aren't in the kind of relationship we'd like to be in. So...I guess you could say "it's complicated." But my status says it's complicated, and his doesn't say anything. And I actually had to ask him to take 'single' off his page. He did though...it's a step...

why is this facebook thing so complicated?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 02:00:26 GMT

Are we in a relationship? I have no idea. I guess this is why facebook invented "it's complicated".